One and Twenty

                                                                     One and Twenty

I was one when I first saw the world

It was nothing then but a series of twist and turns

I turned seven

Everything gets even

You play, you fall

You get muddy and crawl

Life was carefree at ten

Sweets where just chocolates  from way back when

Problems were only found in math

Solutions were pretty easy to catch

Then I was fifteen for a moment

Hating on the world's torment

Everything was rebellious for a teen that is curious

You thought you run the world

Only to find you are easily fooled

Twenty came in a rush

Next thing I knew I was graduating in a hush

You thought you would taste freedom

Adult world here I come

Reality then strikes you in the face

Hey this is not an easy place!

Your first trip to reality

Already being held up by gravity

You thought you were fly

Only to go home and cry

The world is just too scary

Everyone is in a hurry

People you see are eager to pull each other down

They are satisfied when they see you frown

But I have learned to look at them like potatoes

Walking in the streets in tiptoes

Now I am one and twenty

Lessons learned a plenty

The world so rude

No place for a prude

I need to put my big girl pants on

And channel a game face on!

I have known the drill

Now I am in it for the kill

I am one and twenty

I need to be smart and witty

If I wish to survive

I have to be confident to thrive

Turning twenty-one for me means saying goodbye to my old self and welcoming my new self. For the past few days, I have been e-evaluating my life, my plans and my goals. I realize I have gone far from what I originally intended to do. To be honest, I am quite frustrated with everything. In a span of few months, I have managed to feel both elated and depressed at the same time. It was a just a few months ago where I felt like I was on top of the world then I entered law school and I lost everything. Even my confidence (so little that I have). Looking back, I realized I only planned to become an international flight attendant. After all, my ultimate goal in life is just to travel the world and get rich. That opportunity came, it was one Saturday of June when I was in the middle of my review when I received a call. I answered it and was surprised to hear it was from Philippine Airlines. I remembered I sent them my resumé last March. I know I could have told them I was 5’3” and I would have readily gone for the interview but somehow I could not just give up law and my review. I decline PAL and chose law and my review. I could have made the biggest mistake in my life for giving up my childhood dreams but I do not know what has gotten to me at that moment. Is it because my plans have changed? Is it because I know that what I am doing today bears a bigger consequence than being just a flight attendant? I do not know. But I am sure that my sacrifice equates to something bigger in the future. 

I have to admit that things are not easy in law. But even if law school and I are not really in good terms right now, it has taught me lessons beyond criminal, persons and the constitution. It taught me real life lessons. I learned that there will always be people better than us and it takes great courage to accept that fact. I learned that we will never be smart enough, thus, we should keep on learning. A college degree is not enough to get far ahead in life, we must continue studying. Things will never be fair, we must stop asking for equality and fairness in life. One must not be too sensitive, everyone is trying to survive and they are going to fight tooth and nail for it. You should not be weak and let others get to you without putting up a fight. You should be strong enough to handle all the challenges. Lastly, it takes consistency to succeed. The effort you put into your work must be consistently the best, regardless of what everyone is doing. Put your focus into improving yourself and stop comparing yourself to others.

And so I have created my new philosophy in life: “If it does not make you smarter, richer and better, they do not matter”. I know this may sound ruthless, harsh and cold but it simply means cutting off things and people that do you no good. This is not about becoming cold and heartless, this is just trying to put yourself out of trouble. Success means doing away with everything that hinders you from reaching your goals. If it means sacrificing, avoiding and isolating every external factor that will hurt you instead of benefitting you then please get out of it. After all, as long as you do not do anything evil to other people then that is all that matters.

I am starting a whole new year by changing myself for the better. I am throwing away the pains of the past and I will start anew and fill myself with positive thoughts only. I will accept my mistakes and learn from them. I will be more mature in handling any situations and always walk out of them in style. One thing will never change though, it would be my love for shoes, clothes and bags. ( haha!)

Moving forward, let us talk about this recent photoshoot. I actually made an effort to have an outfit shot solely because I want to dedicate this for my readers. I know I owe them a lot for not updating my blog anymore after a long time. I just opened this blog again and I saw that I had more than 12,000 readers this past few months. Wow!! I mean, who would dare visit a haunted blog right? But I had phantom readers. Thank you so much guys. You always make me kilig for visiting my blog. J

I would like to give a shout out to Teban for taking these photos. I know he was quite pissed off because I demanded to do this and that but oh well, a friend has got to do what a friend’s got to do.

I would like to end this post by telling my readers that I am so grateful for their blog visits. This boosts my confidence in so many ways. I want to tell you to keep dreaming and to keep working for that dream. I wish everyone a good life. J Until my next post!

Outfit: Jumpsuit: Mags | Shoes: Parisian

Photos: Steven Tan