2019: I'm coming back

Last year, I was writing my New Year's resolution in the poor-lit area of our home. I was writing it with somber feeling as I was loathing on the self-inflicted misery that I put my mind into. However, despite how dark that time of my life had been, there was no ounce of regret for my 2018. 

In summary, 2018 was what you call my personal exodus (EZodus, if i'm witty ;)). I left the comforts of home for the reason of self-improvement and real world training of survival of the fittest. Indeed, the past six months was a battle for survival. Being alone in a foreign place meant suppressing your feelings because there is no "mum" who will give you pep talks. It meant teaching yourself to be positive all the time because you need to battle your inner demons and depression has been on its peak this year. But the best thing about 2018 is that it taught me to be strong: emotionally and mentally and it taught me resilience (rEZilience as I call it). 

The past year was not easy. But the plot twist was incredible. Fast forward 2019, the end goal now is to fortify my newly acquired skills/traits and to learn new ones as the year progress. Let me list down several things that I would want to focus on developing this year.

Career Growth and Development

 Now, we have identified our great need for endless cash (haha), we move on to identifying HOW to do it? I guess this year is the time for me to stop denying myself. Back then, I hate telling people my job because I do not think that being a teacher is something noble and admirable. 

But now, when I have felt how I made such great impact to my former students and from people I work with, I know that I must be doing something right in my life. Perhaps in my own simple and still very young ways, I have made learning interesting. 

This year, I resolve to invest more time in improving my skills and knowledge in teaching. To never stop trying looking for ways to make my lessons interesting and to improve myself in disseminating knowledge and information. 

Also, I aim to take a bigger calculated risk in terms of adding more sources of income. Fingers crossed to make it happen before the year ends. 

Smart Spending

Sometimes adulting entails one to spend on their money wisely. Yes, travelling is a great way to gain experience. Yes, shopping can be therapeutic (especially when you get commended for your impeccable choice of wardrobe) but at the end of the day when the thrill of your pictures and the seams of your Prada dress have worn out, what has become of your hard earned money?

I am a twenty something year old woman who has not travelled much not shopped much but Pinterest and social media influencers have given me enough dose of those lavish lifestyle they religiously post in social media. It looks good and I feel jelly having not been able to buy some for myself, but I look at the bigger picture. I rather invest my money on things that will still be with me in the coming years rather than joining in the bandwagon of celebrity wannabes. (I still love fashion. I just got real with my impulse buying)

 A serious commitment on being healthy

It is undeniable that my metabolism sucks. I am constipated on most days and my sugar intake is at its maximum. I have not eaten healthy foods in the past months as well. Not knowing how to cook makes me buy fast food. Lots of them.

But I am slowly transitioning my diet. Not abrupt and shocking. I'm starting with some tea (not laxatives) and soon I will get back to sweating. Sweating lots of it. It is not about getting thin, it is about being fit and mindful of what you put inside your body. It matters.

All about myself
The most important thing that I am continuously working on is my love for me. I have grown to realize that self love is not about buying everything you see because you deserve it. Self-love is that quiet night with your lavender infused room diffuser or your peppermint flavored inhaler to relax your mind. It is that nightly routine of face masks and toner because you love your skin enough to not sleep with your make-up on.

Self-love is when you simply walk away from situations that your presence is no longer needed. Self-love is not bending on anyone's will if it puts you in compromising situations. Self-love is learning to know your limitations: how much you can give and what are you willing to take.

This is not an overnight project. It is a life-long mission and it needs to be lived by every single day.

And just like that old line: 2019, I am coming back.

Have you got your own reflections as well? Let me know! <3