Speak and Style

To be honest, I have been staring at the screen for an hour now thinking of ways on how to start wrapping up my 2019. I do not know whether I should be writing all the good things that happened or do I talk about how I picked myself up from the chaos called my brain.  2019, in a nutshell, was filled with self-doubt and insecurities. It was a question of whether I will make it through or do I just give up and see where life takes me. It was more of me seeing how others are progressing and then there is me sticking to my old beliefs and standing up for what I truly believe in.  This year gave me a lot of pressure considering that my plans took a huge detour. Not only that, but my declining health was also showing. Weight gain in addition to worsened hormonal issues and internal conflicts every now and then. At a glance, you would think it was only a couple of pounds gained but it is taking its toll on my mood. Hormonal imbalance is hitting me right where my brain...

Sitting on my desk on a tuesday, trying to make sense of what I should be putting in this blog today. Should I stick to writing my self-inflicted lamentations or do I write something positive which I do not even know about. But if I should update you with something, it is that I have fully decided to constantly update this blog from now on. NO, it is not another false promise but it will be something that I have constantly postponed out of supression and killing what really makes me happy.   I remember when I first made this blog using my basic skills in website making and using free platforms was because I wanted to be like Kryz Uy and Camille Co. Not because I want to be there imitation but I also find this thing quite interesting. Over the years, however, it has evolved to becoming my personal outlet when life has become overwhelming. My fashion sense is still there but the reason why I put up this little web space is gone. Physically, I may not be exudi...

With a few extra time on my hand, I finally decided to go back to my dear old blog. Honestly, if I was brave enough to fight for my passion, I would rather be a content writer and a full time reader my whole life. I guess, regardless of how much I channel a strong persona, I am just not brave enough to trade practicality for passion.  I have never been a crowd-pleaser. I do not follow the trend and I do not live for people to like me. I learned that at a very young age. No matter how I try to be nice and accommodate everybody, I know that I cannot please them. Hence, my DGAF game is strong af. But for some reasons, I still end up getting the social media disease of comparing my life to others.  I mean I cannot deny that I have my fair share of idols and inspirations in social media. In fact, it is my driving force to do better and be like them. And when I feel drained and uninspired I go to their blogs and Youtube videos to get inspired again or go to the...

Last year, I was writing my New Year's resolution in the poor-lit area of our home. I was writing it with somber feeling as I was loathing on the self-inflicted misery that I put my mind into. However, despite how dark that time of my life had been, there was no ounce of regret for my 2018.  In summary, 2018 was what you call my personal exodus (EZodus, if i'm witty ;)). I left the comforts of home for the reason of self-improvement and real world training of survival of the fittest. Indeed, the past six months was a battle for survival. Being alone in a foreign place meant suppressing your feelings because there is no "mum" who will give you pep talks. It meant teaching yourself to be positive all the time because you need to battle your inner demons and depression has been on its peak this year. But the best thing about 2018 is that it taught me to be strong: emotionally and mentally and it taught me resilience (rEZilience as I call it).  The past year ...

Finally, a birthday blog! It has been my lifetime wish to publish a birthday blog with some badass photos to show. And voila, here it is! This birthday special post is intended to list down twenty four life lessons I have learned the past years. When you are in your mid-twenties, life is starting to become more exciting. Well, at least for me. I took a leap of faith in a world unknown. I never felt this free since the declaration of the 1987 Constitution ( ahem, see the smart joke inserted there ;)). Hence, let the countdown to twenty four things learn at 24 begins. Personal Care 1. I do not consider myself vain but I believe in smelling good. As years go by, I have developed a certain obsession to perfumes and good smelling bath and body essentials. You should too. It makes you feel good, look better and just become more optimistic to life ;) 2. Make up does not have to be fancy. A good primer, moisturizer and some BB Cream can go a long way. And if you are feeling ext...

Fact: My favorite day is October 8. I don't know why but I always find this day special. When I was younger and naive, this was my ideal wedding date. But forget that now, I just give myself some lovin on this day. Since, I have told you about the significance of such date, I decided to give you some good loving blog update. Tonight, as I'm putting myself to sleep with a can of beer (it has been the only way to sleep peacefully apart from cough medicine), I will let you in my private life. We will talk mainly about two things: love online and  ! 1. Love online is a hoax Imagine you woke up late for the day, you only have 20 minutes to prepare everything and you just grab whatever you see and go out. You did not bother to check if that is what you really need and if that is what you want to bring with you for the day. That's just like swiping right to that social dating app you just downloaded. Everyone looks pretty and goodlooking. The...

On to my fourth month of being alone and I could not be more happier and sadder at the same time. Until recently, homesickness has not dawn on me until I started craving for the S&R chicken ceasar salad, that potato corner BBQ fries and my spontaneous trips to the cafe. I have been meaning to write about my whole early September shenanigans but I just could not seem to pull my thoughts together. Today, I am in the mood to put down my thoughts into writing while basking on the pure goodness of Hozier playlist. I may be divulging more details than necessary in case the Hozier fever will take me on a celestial level. Life update: 1. I got me a travel blog writing job. Again, the regular Ezra is back at it again. Hoarding jobs and usually from two different fields. I love this part time job as I am writing again and I am getting to explore more places just by reading and researching.  2. I am still apprehensive about taking the yoga class. The yoga instru...