As I am writing this blog, you should know that I am in a trance of Sam Smith's "Too Good at Goodbyes" and I have my new favorite coffee with me. Hence, anything written in this post could be in the midst of a heightened anger or a surge of overwhelming feeling.
But all the niceties aside, my point of writing is that I feel open and exposed. Lately, I have been learning the art of smiling and laughing out loud. Laughing at small things. Smiling at stupid situations and even at my own mistakes. Although for a person who has always been composed and my emotions bottled up, this is quite liberating.
Freely letting people in, in my life is a big leap of faith. I hate having too many human beings inside my small territory. I hate having people know my likes and dislikes because by then, I might have made an emotional investment and even creating connections with strangers. This is a part of growing up. Inevitable even. But I hate this transition period.
Every day, we are bombarded with stress. From our daily activities up to our own thoughts-- we can become so restless throughout the day. Today, in particular, is very disappointing for me. I was not in the mood for anything. I was not in the mood to wear my mask on and pretend to be that cheerful being who is carefree and happy.
Ever since I turned 23, I made this pact with myself to not care about the world anymore. I just do not care whether people like me or they hate me. And the last thing I would want to happen to me is to let this negativity run my day.
If there are some things that I would not spend more than five minutes on it, these would be:
1. My Current Mood
My moods are dictated by the tide. In the morning, I can be as hyper as I can or I can just be as emotionless as a stone. Whatever mood I am in, it usually lasts the whole day. I realize this is not a healthy habit at all.
If you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, find a way to switch the mood. It is not healthy f…
Sometimes opinionated, most of the times neutral. I am one of the few people who can keep everything neutral including my real thoughts. I often find my words misinterpreted by many. Either I have this weird tone when I speak or people just do not find me that amiable.
For years, I have been trying to adjust as to how I would want the world to see me. I tend to smile upon insults and rumors spread about me even if deep inside I am hurting. All for the sake of not being to hurt these people back. But eventually, I knew that I had to speak up. For the wrong words and for everything said about me. Even if that means having the world turn their back at me. Favorites
I never share my passion and my favorites. I find myself selfish in keeping these beautiful to myself. I feel like having people share the same likes and dislikes is too close for comfort. I do not want seeing people wearing the same clothes as me nor having the same perfume as me. Heck, I do not even want people doi…