Something Personal: Things I Keep to Myself

Feelings Sometimes opinionated, most of the times neutral. I am one of the few people who can keep everything neutral including my real thoughts. I often find my words misinterpreted by many. Either I have this weird tone when I speak or people just do not find me that amiable. 
For years, I have been trying to adjust as to how I would want the world to see me. I tend to smile upon insults and rumors spread about me even if deep inside I am hurting. All for the sake of not being to hurt these people back. But eventually, I knew that I had to speak up. For the wrong words and for everything said about me. Even if that means having the world turn their back at me. 
Favorites I never share my passion and my favorites. I find myself selfish in keeping these beautiful to myself. I feel like having people share the same likes and dislikes is too close for comfort. I do not want seeing people wearing the same clothes as me nor having the same perfume as me. Heck, I do not even want people doi…

Not Your Typical New Year's Resolution

Wow! Can you believe it? 2017 is freaking done! The times have changed and the world is turning. But I am still the same old me. The same old dreams keeping me alive. The same old thoughts eating me alive. It feels like some poetic rhyme but really it has been costing me dimes. ( can't help to make a couplet thought)

How was my 2017?
It was a year of taking risks. I took the risk of signing that one year contract in the school I am currently teaching. If you do not know me well, I hate staying in one place for a long time, but I guess being locked up in a contract is one thing that tests my patience and my abilities.

We took the risk of making a new home for us. Despite the lack of abundant cash. Despite the lack of resources but we took the risk. It cost me a lot of moolah. It cost us emotional exhaustion but we are more than halfway there. In no time, we will be seeing the fruits of my labor.

But the in-betweens of my year was horrible. It mostly consisted of ranting, complaini…

Things You Should Never Spend More than Five Minutes On

Every day, we are bombarded with stress. From our daily activities up to our own thoughts-- we can become so restless throughout the day. Today, in particular, is very disappointing for me. I was not in the mood for anything. I was not in the mood to wear my mask on and pretend to be that cheerful being who is carefree and happy.

Ever since I turned 23, I made this pact with myself to not care about the world anymore. I just do not care whether people like me or they hate me. And the last thing I would want to happen to me is to let this negativity run my day.
If there are some things that I would not spend more than five minutes on it, these would be:

1. My Current Mood
My moods are dictated by the tide. In the morning, I can be as hyper as I can or I can just be as emotionless as a stone. Whatever mood I am in, it usually lasts the whole day. I realize this is not a healthy habit at all.

If you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, find a way to switch the mood. It is not healthy f…

On a Perpetual State of Neutrality

As I am writing this blog, you should know that I am in a trance of Sam Smith's "Too Good at Goodbyes" and I have my new favorite coffee with me. Hence, anything written in this post could be in the midst of a heightened anger or a surge of overwhelming feeling.

But all the niceties aside, my point of writing is that I feel open and exposed. Lately, I have been learning the art of smiling and laughing out loud. Laughing at small things. Smiling at stupid situations and even at my own mistakes. Although for a person who has always been composed and my emotions bottled up, this is quite liberating.
Freely letting people in, in my life is a big leap of faith. I hate having too many human beings inside my small territory. I hate having people know my likes and dislikes because by then, I might have made an emotional investment and even creating connections with strangers. This is a part of growing up. Inevitable even. But I hate this transition period.

It is terrifying but …

Came to Camotes

Another long overdue blog post about our Camotes weekend with the bestfriend, Raffy. I did not have the time to make a good post about it until today. For the first time independent travelers (sure?), we really did have a trip of a lifetime. We had meetings, countless of them if I may mention and we even have a step by step process on how to get to the pier.

We agreed to meet at around 5:30 in the morning but then I had to buy coffee because we need coffee. So I arrived at around 6 am in the bus terminal and got worried we will not be able to ride on an air-conditioned bus. Yes. We are that specific!

When we got to the Danao Port, we were stuck for four hours because we did not buy a ticket ahead of time. Raffy and I were already irritated because it was too hot, it was smelly and the people were just going crazy. Thank God, we were able to buy a ticket for the air-conditioned seats or whatever you call it. We need to keep ourselves cool. We arrived at Camotes Port (i think that was…

Things I will never Tell Anyone

1. I am criticizing you in my mind
No, I am not judging you. I just have the disease of wanting everything to be perfect even if it will never be. I wanted everyone to fit in my standards even if we all know this is impossible. But, I do it anyway.

My mind is both heaven and hell. It can be filled with the most beautiful things and my imagination can go beyond awesome but it can turn into something horrific in a split second too. It all depends on my mood. I can destroy everything-- even my life in one minute once my mind starts thinking dark things. And that is the scary part of me.

 2. I wish I had so much confidence
One of my biggest water loo is the lack of self-confidence. For years, I have been trying to figure out why I always shy away from social gatherings and why I feel suffocated when there are more than three people in a room. I hate being in a crowd unless it is an unfamiliar one. I hate mingling with people. I always have the notion that socializing means faking everyt…

Quick Southern Getaway

Last Labor Day Weekend, we had an impromptu out of town trip to Alcoy with the family. We needed a break from stress, school and work and nothing can do that better than the beach. We spent a night at the Manawa Beach Resort. I must say that this quaint resort has the complete amenities any tourist would need.

If you like a spacious, comfortable and air-conditioned room, they just have the perfect rooms for you. Moreover, if you want to have a perfect view of the sunset and the sunrise, their man-made cliff will give you the best spot. All these at a very comfortable price!

Early morning by the beach is one of the many moments you should experience at least once in your life. While waiting for high tide and watching the sunrise, nothing is more soothing than hearing the sound of the waves crashing to the shores. By just the sound of it, your brain involuntarily lets go of your stress and anger you had in the past week.

Before we ended our trip in Alcoy, we made sure to stop by Tingko…