I thought I would have been a promising blogger by now. I could have applied to become a free lance writer on a local and national magazine. I could have been dressing and styling celebrities by now or become an apprentice of Liz Uy or Rachel Zoe. I thought I would be flying back and forth to different places and become a flight attendant.
Well, that was the original dream. If I have to go through my dream book once again, I sure would find those career options that I dreamed to do. But I do not know which way did the wind blew for me to go through a totally different path. Because right now, I am doing exact opposite of my original plans.
I do not really remember what happened along the way or what went wrong. But maybe in the long run, I just outgrew my childhood dream. I have done a lot of things, met a lot of people and become inspired by different things that has really caused me to take a different route.
Maybe I am just more than capable to do greater things than just doing fashion and blogging. Maybe there is a potential in me to do something more professional, more income generating, more practical and more difficult than by simply hanging with my laptop all day looking at shoes and bags.
Maybe by now, I should have accepted the fact that I am prone to do the challenging things in life. I go crazy when everything is to easy for me. Yes, that is how weird I am. I crave for thrill, for something academically risky and something that involves critical thinking. I used to deny that because I always felt I am nothing but a good looking bimbo with nothing on my brains. But the job interviews, employer feedbacks and all my post-academic exhibitions told me nothing but how good I am. They have been so appreciative of my efforts and my pre-employment stunts. And it gives me more confidence to become better and strive for greatness.
And so, now I am slowly adjusting my mind set that I am indeed invincible and capable of anything as long as I put my heart into it. That I can do anything even those I think difficult if I just believe in myself.
But this note is not to tell everyone that I am forgetting about fashion and become a monster in the boardroom or anything in those line. No, I realize that fashion is my way of life. It has always been a part of me. Dressing up is me. I love to dress up, to look good and even in my own ways feel like I am actually a model of Louis Vuitton, Prada or Louboutin. Haha! I am not even dressing up for my crush to notice me. I am looking good for me because it gives me that feeling that I am that bad-ass career woman that no one can mess up with. And it is in fashion that I find a way to express myself, to have that freedom and the feelings that I am great. And so even though I will never be that famous blogger whose blog is sponsored by advertisements and other online businesses..speakandstyle will always be a haven for the lost souls trying to find their footing in this world.