Not Your Typical New Year's Resolution
How was my 2017?
It was a year of taking risks. I took the risk of signing that one year contract in the school I am currently teaching. If you do not know me well, I hate staying in one place for a long time, but I guess being locked up in a contract is one thing that tests my patience and my abilities.
We took the risk of making a new home for us. Despite the lack of abundant cash. Despite the lack of resources but we took the risk. It cost me a lot of moolah. It cost us emotional exhaustion but we are more than halfway there. In no time, we will be seeing the fruits of my labor.
But the in-betweens of my year was horrible. It mostly consisted of ranting, complaining and dwelling on my unspoken depression. Over time, I have become the master of masking emotions (just like how I master wearing a face mask). I have successfully blurred the lines of pretending my mood to becoming the mood. I hid from friends. I evaded acquaintances. I was a plankton floating mid-current. Isn't that a good thing?
The good thing is that I am fully aware of my shortcomings. I am aware that I lack so many things the past few year. And that makes the coming year a year of opportunities for me. I want to make this year as memorable as I can be. No more apprehensions. No more fear of making mistakes. No more weak soul.
I want to begin making my year memorable by sharing my resolution with you guys. This is something very special and personal to me because I do not often voice out thoughts that are better left in private. As part of getting out of my shell, I will take a leap of faith on this.
1. Acceptance of reality
My young mind still could not fathom how things could never go my way. I complain how my plans do not seem to turn into reality or if they do, it ends up disappointing for me. I complain how things can be so unfair sometimes.
But this year, I vow to accept things I cannot change. I cannot change the decisions I made in the past. I cannot change the kind of people I have around me. Hence, instead of fighting the reality presented in front of me, why not accept it and continue living your life?
I figured how these people who seem so happy in real life may have accepted the things they have and handled it the best they could. They did not question why things are the way they are instead they make the most of what they can do. And that is something that I would want to cultivate in me.
2. Manage my finances better
I used to be that one person who can survive with only fifty pesos in my wallet but now, I can barely go out of the house without bringing a few thousands with me. It is either my lifestyle has greatly increased or my money saving skills have become rustic.
This year, I aim to spend lesser on things and unnecessary wants. I aim to survive a fifty peso daily allowance and save more from my salaries. This is going to be a tough challenge for me as going out has been the only stress reliever for me.
Another personality waterloo that I have is that I am a perfectionist. Most people think that perfectionism is a flaw. The idea of wanting everything to go smoothly and perfectly is just simply absurd. Expecting too much from the people around me because I give them my best foot forward is also ridiculous. But I find this something ideal.
Perfectionism is not a flaw. It is an asset. Keeping your high standards and not compromising your taste just to fit into the society could take you to higher heights. But if there is a downside to this trait is my inability to accept my mistakes. I master my field and everything that surrounds it, I expect to commit little to no mistakes. Human as I am, I will still fail and make errors at some point.
These are the inevitables of life. I do not like making mistakes because I do not want to be reprimanded. But these things are part of the natural cycle. You need to be insulted to learn. You need to commit mistakes in order to soften the edges of your skills and come out as the master of it in the long run.
This year, I endeavor to accept the mistakes I have made and learn from it instead of hiding away from it.
Another thing that I am aiming for this year is planting love in myself. I do not mean the kind of love wherein I spoil myself with things. I meant the kind of love where I am giving myself the chance to grow and explore things. The kind of love wherein I invests in higher education to maximize my skills. The kind of self-love wherein I leave the toxic people alone for the sake of my sanity and peace.
These intangible things are necessary for me to grow. So, if you feel like I am keeping my distance to you or things have changed between us, you know that I need to take a break from taking in toxins in my already polluted life.
Probably you have heard this from everyone. Forgive everyone who has hurt them and forget the offense they made. Then again, this is much easier said than done. This year, I endeavor to cleanse my soul my letting go of my grudges and anger to people who have scarred my being.
I have the kind of personality wherein I wish well to everyone around me. I feel like walking on a glass every single day so as not to offend anyone and I expect these people to do the same for me. Unfortunately, some people just could not help but intrude in my life and test my patience and temper real hard. This year, I try to keep a willpower of ignoring these people. I aim to be blind and numb from these toxic individuals so that by the time they say something bad and insult me, I could not even feel a thing.
In this manner, I can forgive them and I cannot take their offense to me by heart.
For years, my moods are dictated by the cup of coffee I drink. Maybe this is a fad or maybe this is my one hour escape from the bitter reality. I will try to start my year with no coffee. For my health. For my sanity.
My mind is positive the whole year round!!! 2018 mantra!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!!!
P.S. views and opinions in this blog are my own, these things may or may not be applicable to you!
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